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Looking back to Move Forward


I got an email a few days ago congratulating me on the anniversary of my home Mortgage closing ….. Wow! 4 years already??


My mind hurtled down memory lane to 4 Years ago! I had moved out into my new home. I had also made a huge life change … moving on from a marriage of over 15 years. There was a lot I was scared of, worried about and praying about. There was a lot of challenges and uncertainty. Heck I wasn’t sure how I was going to manage all the things that came with a home, new neighborhood but the certainty of knowing that I was doing the right thing strengthened my determination. And oh wait, my contract had just ended so here I was, single, without a job and seemingly ‘alone’.


But I wasn’t really alone and I knew it was temporary.


We usually talk about not looking back, especially with regrets that hold us back from moving forward.


What about when looking back helps us move forward?

  • Looking back for confidence. 4 years later, I have thrived in that home. I look back on my journey and how much I have overcome and learned in the process. Some of the fears I had then now make me smile and you know what that does to me? It reminds me that the fears, challenges, concerns that I have today - I will overcome them, I will grow, and sometime in the future, I will be looking back to today’s fears, and smiling. Looking back at the experiences, steps and lessons learned will give you cues on you how you can move forward on your current challenges. Most importantly, the reminder that you’ve been through fire before and walked through will adjust your mindset to stop seeing your current situation as impossible.


  • Looking back for Memoirs: I take ‘Mental vacations’. I learned this from a WICT (Women in Cable Telecommunications) leadership conference where the speaker talked about taking memory ‘snapshots’ of your enjoyable or memorable experiences and banking them to draw from them in the future. It could be a really fun party, or a memorable retreat, or a meeting that impacted your life, whatever it is, When stressed or need to relax, I draw from my memoirs bank and re-live them. Like memories of the food … oh the food … from some retreat 10 years ago and the quiet serene resort that provided all the relaxation and focus we needed, or hiking the red mountains in Sedona with my kids and getting that amazing view of that beautiful city. Maybe re-living these release some hormones that help with stress because I have found my mental vacations well worth it.


Make the time to be intentional in creating experiences that are worth banking. Believe me, drawing on those banks will go a long way in dealing with stress and refreshing you for the journey ahead.


“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart even when it leads you off the well worn path; and that will make all the difference.”― Steve Jobs
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