I had a good ... and bad experience at a recent photoshoot.
So I sit in the chair to get my makeup ... and the end result was bad. Quite bad actually.
'Do you like it?', she asked. ‘it’s okay, Can you make my brows thinner?' ..was my very feeble and weak attempt to express my displeasure. She went ahead and tweaked as best she could and that was that. I went on with the shoot.
I told myself I didn’t want to delay the photographer (after all I was being paid for my time) and didn’t have the time for a make-up re-do. I told myself I didn’t want to hurt the make up artist’s feelings. I told myself I didn’t want to be a diva.... or appear as one. But these are really poor excuses made by someone (me) who didn’t want to make the effort to do the right thing .... that's the bad part.
The truth is that I could have been more collaborative with the make up artist, engage her in constructive feedback that she not only accepts but is actually grateful for (e.g. phrase it by what I think is best for my skin, the look I’m going for, what doesn’t work for me, what I don’t like, what I think would be a better way to do the lips, how the blend is off, etc........Yes phrasing constructive feedback is a skill......and yes I was being lazy) I could have stepped away from the makeup table with a richer experience for the both of us ......and probably, better make up. Instead I stepped away an unsatisfied customer.
Not speaking out, in this instance (and many others) wasn’t because I was nice or considerate, I was just being lazy and careless. We’re often tempted to clam up especially if it’s uncomfortable... when the best thing for all parties may have been to just speak out ......
.....With grace.
.....with consideration of the recipient.
.....with mindful intent.
.....with boldness and clarity.
and that was the good part. Here’s to being brave in small and big things.
Adaeze